Life and Death

"I lived my life,

I died my death.

But I never lived

And I never died,

The life and death

That mattered most.

For I never

Lived in His death,

Or died to my life."

     This is a poem that was truly InspiredByGod, because I could not have come up with it on my own if I had tried. I was working on my homework, which involved writing a haiku, and I was thinking about springtime. I was thinking about winter dying out, and new life blossoming. Suddenly the phrase, "Death has died, New life is born" came to me. As I pondered that phrase, this poem came to me word for word. The Bible talks multiple times about dying to our sins and being made alive in Christ. But for someone who doesn't know Christ, they have never experienced that and don't know what it is like to die to yourself and live for Christ. They don't know what it is like when death has died and new life is born.  So this poem is, in a way, the final confession of someone who has lived and died without Christ. How will you reflect on life when all is said and done? Please, don't let this poem be your final confession. Christ died to give you new life, and when He arose from the grave, death died and eternal life became His free gift to you. Will you accept His gift of love today? Tomorrow is never promised. Today is the day of salvation.

Transparency

I want to be transparent.

I want to be real.

I'm tired of the fake smiles, masks, and charades.

Church isn't a game to be played,

And being a Christian isn't a role to be performed.

This life wasn't meant to be a stage for us to shine,

We're just running the lights and pointing them to You.

Lord, I don't want to be seen,

But invisibility is not what I'm searching for.

I have a purpose that can't be achieved if I never let them see.

I want to meet You somewhere in the middle.

Let me be transparent,

Let me be real.

Peel back the layers, and uncover my disguise.

Give me strength to let the scars show.

Help me to not be a ashamed of these broken pieces.

You brought me together and made beauty from the ashes,

You created something new and I want them to see.

I want them to want what You've given freely to me.

Let my life be an advertisement promoting Your name.

Father, when the world looks at me,

I pray they see a mirror reflection of You.

Some Thoughts

What is inspiration without motivation?

What is a vision if it never becomes a reality?

What is a purpose if it is not fulfilled?

What is a life if it is not lived?

***

You were inspired, so do something with it.

You were shown a vision, so bring it to fruition.

You were created for a purpose, so live it out.

You were given a new life, so make it worth the price that was paid.

Provision

          Well, another year is coming to an end and another new beginning is on the way. This year has flown by, so quickly in fact, that I have trouble even remembering what all happened. But the one thing that stands out to me about this past year is PROVISION. The saying "God will make a way when there seems to be no way" has been made evident in my life this year. From receiving a card in the mail from a dear friend with a check enclosed during a time when we needed it the most, to getting nearly the exact amount of money needed for a mission trip donated the week before we were supposed to leave... God has proven faithful in my life this year! The economy led me to lose a lot of money I was receiving for school. My mom had some health problems and was written out of work for a month, only to find out later that she had been denied disability. But somehow, God still made it possible for us to keep up with the tuition payments. God led me to  that school for a reason, and deciding to attend a pricey private University takes a major leap of faith, but He didn't let me down. God answered countless prayers for me this past year, and he gave me assurance that I'm following the plan He has prepared for me. He gave me the opportunity to help babysit my little cousins over the summer, and when I went back to school He provided me with a work/study job. The people I work with are truly a blessing, my hours are flexible with my class schedule, and the money I make helps my mom with tuition payments. Not only that, but He also allowed me to be chosen for an educational grant in which I get the chance to mentor middle school students in the afternoons. I've also been getting a lot of positive feedback on my blog this year, and that has been a great encouragement. It's now the last week of the year, and God is still opening doors, answering prayers, and supplying needs. The greatest provision of all happened last week when I received a phone call from my dad letting me know that my 70 year old Grandfather had accepted Christ as his Savior. That was an answer to a prayer my dad had been praying all his life, a prayer I had been praying all my life, and a prayer my Grandmother was still praying when she lost her battle with cancer two years ago.

*Update: Exactly one week to the day from when my Grandpa accepted Christ, God called him home. He is now dwelling with the Savior, and rejoicing with his loved ones who've gone on before. What a blessed assurance we now have!*

          When I look back at it all, I'm amazed. I have been incredibly blessed, beyond words. It hasn't been an easy year by any means. It's been tough, and I've struggled with my faith at times, but God never failed me. The definition of "provision" is "the action of providing or supplying something for use; to supply with food, drink, or equipment, especially for a journey." This year God provided me with the opportunity to go on a mission trip with my youth group, because He knew that was something I needed in order to grow in my Spiritual walk and develop the qualities I need to become an effective leader. This year God provided financially for my college education, because that's something I'm going to need in order to do what He would have me do and fulfill the purpose He has planned for me. This year God provided me with a job, because working for the money to pay for my college education makes it all the more valuable. This year God provided me with the opportunity to mentor middle school students, because He wanted to teach me how to relate to them and He wanted to prepare me for the things I will face in the future He has planned for me. This year God provided me with lots of encouragement from my writings, because He wanted to assure me that this is part of the plan He has in store for me. This year God provided my Grandfather with salvation, because He wanted to give me and my family hope for the future.
          God's provision has been such a blessing to me this year, and I am unworthy of it all. I have not given God the praise He deserves. His provisions were not given so that I would take them for granted and keep living on my own terms. His provisions were given so that they may be put to use, they were provided as supplies for a journey. 2012 is the start of a new journey, and with all that God has provided, I am fully prepared for what is yet to come. I have no reason to doubt or to fear. With God on my side, I can do all things. Thank you, Father, for your continued faithfulness in my life this year. Thank you for your continued provision, for making a way every time when it seemed like there was no way. In this upcoming year, may I be what you would have me be, and do as you would have me to do. All the glory goes to  you, Lord! Thank you for all that you've done and all that you're going to do. I give you all the praise.

A few songs to summarize my year...

Your Love Never Fails!

You are Faithful!

Forever Reign!

Walking on the Water

         God has been teaching me a lot about faith these past few months. I recently read A.W Tozer’s The Pursuit of God and in this book he describes faith as being “the gaze of a soul upon a saving God.” When I read this it reminded of when Peter walked on the water in Matthew 14:22-33.

You see, in verse 26 the disciples were fearful because they were gazing at what they thought was a ghost walking on the water towards them. But Peter, gazing through the eyes of faith, saw the Savior instead. And he said, “Lord if it be thou; bid me come unto thee on the water.” I can only imagine what all was going on in the minds of the disciples who were watching this take place. Not only is Peter talking to ghost like it’s the Lord, but he’s climbing out of the boat when they’re in the middle of sea, and in the midst of a storm nonetheless! Following Christ is a lot like that today. It’s like stepping out of a boat in the middle of a storm. It’s like walking on the water. Those who don’t have faith think we’re just chasing after a ghost. They don’t see the Savior beckoning us to come. They don’t understand what it’s like to just want to be closer to Christ. They don’t know what it’s like to gaze upon a saving God. They don’t know what faith is all about.

          As I mentioned earlier, God’s been teaching me a lot about faith lately. I’ve had to take Him for His promises, and put my trust in His plan even when it didn't make sense. At times, I felt like Peter, walking on the water while the waves crashed around me. There may have been a boat full of faithless people behind me, but Jesus was in front of me and that's all that mattered. That first step of faith can be an empowering one, and the next few steps may seem easier because of it. But it isn’t long until that wind starts howling, and fear starts to creep in. Peter wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes just like we do. Peter’s mistake came when he took his eyes off Christ. He suddenly became aware of the storm around him, and his fear began to take control. He lost faith for an instant, and the waters began to pull him under. Satan works in the same way. When we take our eyes off Jesus, we become aware of the world around us, and it's then that we let our fears overcome our faith. Satan will try to catch us in those moments of weakness, and he'll try to pull us under. But if we do like Peter did and cry out for the Lord to save us – then verse 31 says that immediately He will stretch forth His hand and catch us. 

          As powerful of a testimony as that was, Peter’s story of faith (and his lack thereof) didn't just end there. The Bible says that when he and Jesus had come back into the boat, the winds ceased. Then, the disciples, who had been looking through faithless eyes, came and worshipped Christ saying “Of a truth, thou art the Son of God.” Wow! This reminds me of Romans 8:28 which says that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” You see, Peter stepped out in faith... and even though he may have stumbled in his fear, God still used him to fulfill a purpose.  By stepping out on faith, Peter helped to open the eyes of those who had been blinded by their fears. So I encourage you to step out, because you never know who's eyes may be opened because of your obedience. 


Listen to the words of this song...

“Step out, even when it’s storming.

Step out, even you’re broken.

Step out, even when you’re heart is telling you to give up.

Step out, when your hope is stolen.

Step out, even when you can’t see where you’re going.

You don’t have to be afraid.

So what are you waiting for?

You know you’re made for more.

So don’t be afraid to move.

Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water too.”

Questions

          God hit me with a tough question awhile back, and I can't seem to get it off my mind. It’s the kind of question that can bring you humbly to your knees if you truly examine the inner workings of your heart. The question was… What are you doing today, to prepare for eternity tomorrow? In other words, how am I any more prepared for God to come back today than I would’ve been if He had come back yesterday? Am I one step closer to God’s vision for my life, or have I fallen two steps behind? Have I added anything to the kingdom of God, or have I selfishly hoarded everything He’s given so freely to me?

          This question came to me when I was watching a news story about Billy Graham’s 93^rd birthday. My mom and I were talking about how awesome of a man of God he’s been, and with his latest book being titled “Nearing Home” we talked about how his ministry has come full circle. Then my mom said something that really stuck out to me, she said, “You know, of all the thousands of people who’ve come to know Christ through Billy Graham, I wonder who that one person is that God’s waiting for Billy Graham to reach before He finally calls him home?” Her question sunk into my heart, and as I pondered it, God began to speak to me. Who’s the one person He’s waiting on me to reach? Am I even trying to reach them? Do I really have a desire to be the hands and feet of Christ? Am I really trying to increase the Kingdom of God, or am I more worried about adding to my own earthly kingdom?

          I couldn’t help but think of my friend, Trey. Next month will be 2 years since God called him home. Billy Graham has been here for 93 years and God is still not finished with him. Trey was only here for 20 years. He was killed in a car accident after preaching his very first sermon at our Friday night youth church. That’s all God was waiting for with Trey - he was just waiting for him to make that one leap of faith, surrendering to the call to preach, and his ministry on earth was complete. After only 20 years on this earth, he had already found and fulfilled the purpose God had for him. What purpose is God waiting on you to fulfill?    
          If there's one thing I learned from Trey's passing, it's that we are not promised another day. We have to live each day we are given to the fullest; live as if it's our last day on this earth, because it just may be. Whether you're on this earth for 20 years or 93 years makes no difference, but what you do with the time you are given makes all the difference in the world. So that brings me back to my original question, what are you doing today to prepare for eternity tomorrow?

"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that. But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is a sin."

~ James 4:14-17 ~

          I am one of those people who has always been "the good girl" and if God had not have found me when He did, I would have been one of those "good girls" to whom God would've said "Depart from me, you worker of iniquity." But far too often, when you've been labeled "the good girl" long enough, you start to believe it. Eventually, pride (which is a sin in itself) starts to creep in. But Romans 3:23 assures us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. So when I read James 4:17 I realize just how much of a sinner I really am. How many moments have I let pass by that I could have been sharing the gospel? How many people have I crossed paths with and never told about Jesus? How many times has God convicted my heart, and I simply refused to respond? It's a scary truth to answer up to, but how much of my purpose am I missing out on when I "knoweth to good, and doeth it not?" I know that I need to be living my life today in preparation for eternity tomorrow, but is that what I'm doing?

***

          
          So this whole blog has pretty much been a whole lot of asking questions without any answers, that's because these are all questions that can only be answered by searching within your own heart and asking God for direction and discernment. Well... last year when I was asking myself these same types of questions my search soon became a prayer, and that prayer became a poem. So if you're interested, the poem can be found here: What is my life?

Tow Truck Savior

          A few weeks ago I was sitting in my room, eating dinner and watching TV, when I saw something on the screen that caught my attention. In the scene of the show I was watching, one of the main character’s car had broken down and she had called a tow truck. When the tow truck pulled up, it looked something like this…

          Now maybe you think I’m weird, and that I am. Maybe you know what the back of a tow truck looks like, and think I’m pretty slow to just be noticing it. But when I was sitting there watching TV and I saw a tow truck pull up with what looked like a cross on the back, I had a God Moment. My brain started spinning... I was thinking "that cross-shaped object is reaching down to pick up a broken down car, and then it’s going to take that broken car to the shop to be fixed." As the saying goes, “that’ll preach!” I was immediately fascinated with tow trucks and I wanted to know more. So I did what I always do when I’m looking for answers. 

Pray. Read the Bible. Google it.

          What I found was definitely inspired by God, because I could not have come up with it on my own if I had tried. First of all, a tow truck is also known as a wrecker, a breakdown truck, or a recovery truck. When I read this I thought about the times in my life when I was a nervous wreck, or the times when I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown - the times when I felt completely broken down and alone. The definition of "tow" is to draw, to pull, or to lead. So who was there to draw me out, pull me up, and lead me out of those messes in my life? Who was my recovery? – It was God. Or as I like to refer to him now, my Tow Truck Savior! 
          Towing services are generally provided by an emergency road service operator. So when you find yourself in the middle of a situation where you’re broken down and in need of repair – call up the emergency road service operator. Call up the Tow Truck Savior. My Preacher has told us several times that the Savior's number is 333... Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” 
          Okay, so the next "God thing" I found out about tow trucks is that they are used to transport vehicles to another location (usually a repair garage) or to recover vehicles which are no longer on a drivable surface. As the body of Christ we are vehicles for Christ. We are vessels, used by Him to carry His gospel out to the world. He has plan for us, a road that He wants us to follow. So in those moments when we find ourselves broken down, or in the moments when we get off track from His plan and end up in a ditch somewhere, we can call up the Tow Truck Savior and he will answer us. He will come and draw us out of our mess, pull us up, and lead us forward. He will transport us to another location. He will take us to a place where He can work in our lives. He can repair our brokenness. Matthew 11:28 says, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” When we call out to God, He will put people around us who can encourage us. He’ll put us back on a drivable surface. He’ll lead us, direct our paths, and put us back on a track heading in the direction He has planned for our lives. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

          There are three different types of tow trucks that are used for different types of emergency services. The first is the Hook & Chain tow truck.  eHow.com says,

“For the hook-and-chain tow truck, a boom is attached to the back of the tower's vehicle. A chain with a hook at the end hangs from the boom. The tower can adjust the boom and the chain as needed. The chains and/or hook would be attached to the vehicle's axle. The boom would lift the vehicle up and place the front wheels onto a rubberized area on the back of the truck, while the back wheels are free on the road.” 

I think that far too often when we encounter problems in life our first choice of rescue would be the hook and chain tow truck. We try to adjust God’s answer for us into something that we think is more suitable for our need. We want God to help us, but we don’t want to surrender our lives completely to him. We want to keep those back two wheels free on the road. We think as long as we give part of ourselves to Christ, we’ll be okay. But God doesn't want just part of us, He wants all of us. He wants to carry our burdens for us. 1 Peter 5:7 says to cast your cares upon Him, for he cares for you! You see, when we hook onto Christ, but keep those back two wheels on the road, we’re doing more damage than good. Hook & Chain tow trucks are no longer used much nowadays because they end up scratching the bumper of the cars. Don’t let your bumper get scratched by trying to fix the problem on your own... surrender your life completely to Christ and let him fix the broken parts of you. 

          The next type of tow truck is the flatbed. The flatbed truck "can be hydraulically inclined and moved to ground level allowing the vehicle being towed to be placed under its own power or pulled by a winch." I am so thankful that Jesus Christ moved himself to this earthly ground level so that he could repair our brokenness! By coming down to ground level, the car can be placed on the flatbed one of two ways. First it can come up by its own power (just driving up), or if it’s too broken to make it up on it’s own then there is a pully that will help it. I’m so thankful that when I’m broken down to nothing, when I’m weak and I don’t have the strength to pull myself up, that I can look up and see God reaching out to pull me up. When we are powerless, He has the power to lift us up and bring us to safety. He draws us forward, levels us out, secures us, and raises us up on the flatbed. Psalm 62 is an awesome passage that talks about God as our Sold Rock (flatbed) and our power (pulley system).

          The final type of tow truck is the one in the image above. This is the wheel-lift tow truck. Wikipedia says that it, 

“evolved from the hook and chain technology to produce a large metal yoke that can be fitted under the front or rear wheels to cradle them drawing the front or rear end of the vehicle clear of the ground by a pneumatic or hydraulic hoist so it can be towed” 

This type of tow truck evolved from the hook and chain technology because it has less ability to damage the car. The cross keeps us safe from harm! The large metal yoke it is talking about would be that lateral piece. On the cross of Christ, that would have been where His arms were outstretched. His arms cradle us and draw us clear off the ground to be towed. In the arms of his mercy we find rest. Matthew 11:28-30 says, 

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

So what does that word yoke mean? Well literally it means "a bar of wood that’s used to unite two animals allowing them to work in the fields." But figuratively it’s a symbol of slavery, burdens, oppression, and bondage to sin. So with this metaphor of the tow truck God uses a yoke, something that has all of these negative connotations attached to it... burdens, slavery, oppression, bondage to sin… things that normally weigh heavily on you and bring you down. But God says, "I’m going to take these things and I’m going to use them for my glory. Yes you've made some mistakes in the past, but I’m going to take those mistakes that have now been washed in my blood, and I’m going to use them to lift you up. I’m going to cradle you in my arms of mercy. I’m going bring you up, draw you forward, and I’m going to fix the broken parts of you. Then I’ll put you back on the road and you will go to great places. You will be in my will. You will declare my name. You will make disciples of all nations. And when the world catches up with you again, if you ever find yourself broken down again, you just call upon me. I’ll lift you up. I’ll give you rest. Take my burdens upon your shoulders, because they are light. Give me your problems, and I’ll repair them. Cast your cares on me, because I care for YOU!"

*******

          When I think of brokenness in the Bible, one of the first people I think of (other than Job) is Jeremiah. Jeremiah wrote the book of Lamentations. To lament literally means "to mourn aloud, to express sorrow demonstratively." Jeremiah was obviously broken when he wrote this book. He had just personally witnessed the downfall of Judah and the capture of Jerusalem. But even though Jeremiah is writing about sorrow and tragedy, even while he is pouring out his heart to the Lord, he still has hope. Jeremiah has the ability to hope in the midst of such suffering because he has found relief in God's arms of mercy. He has been rescued by the Tow Truck Savior. 
          In Lamentations 3:19-29 Jeremiah is remembering his brokenness. He remembers it because it gives him hope. It's never good to dwell in the past, but every now and then we need to take a little trip down memory lane and remember where God has brought us from. We need to remember the times when we were broken down on the side of the road of life, the times when we called out to God and He came to our rescue. As verse 22 says, it's because of His mercies that we fail not. Our hope is in Christ and His faithfulness. 
          In verse 32 of the same chapter, Jeremiah says "But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies." I've always heard the saying "God will never put more on you than you can handle" and I've always believed that to be true. But I heard it from a different perspective the other day. I was reading a devotional by someone who's mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She said that people kept telling her "God will never put more on you than you can handle" but she didn't believe them. She knew what she was feeling, and she knew what her mom was going to be put through in the coming months and years. It all seemed pretty overwhelming. So she began to search the Bible, because she wanted proof that what everyone was telling her was true. However, she never found the proof she was looking for. What she found instead was that "though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion." You see, we're all going to face hard times. And at times, it may seem like it's too much to bear. But Christ tells us to cast our cares on Him. He says for us to take His yoke upon us. Nothing is too much for Christ to bear, and with Him on our side we can endure all things. 
          Skipping down again, in verses 49-58 of the same chapter, Jeremiah is overwhelmed with grief. He is broken down yet again. But when called out, when he called upon the name of the Lord (333)... God, the emergency road service operator, came with the cross-shaped tow truck and pulled him out of the low dungeon. He drew him near. He redeemed his life.
          What is your story of redemption? Do you need to bring it into remembrance so that it will give you hope like it did for Jeremiah? Have you grown complacent in your walk with Christ? Do you need that hope back? Do you even have that joyous hope that only comes from the salvation of God? Search your heart. Maybe you're at a place in your life right now where you're broken down. Maybe you've made some mistakes and you feel stuck in the mess you've made. Let God fix your brokenness. Let him pull you up out of the miry clay. Don't be afraid to call out to Him. Cry out to Him and He will hear you. He will answer you and He will come to your rescue. We serve a Tow Truck Savior... We serve a God who will come down and meet us in the midst of our problems. He will reach out and pull us up out of our pit of despair. He is the lifter of our heads. He'll repair the broken pieces of our heart. He is a God of mercy and love. He will cradle us in His arms, raise us up, and take us to safety. He will bear our burdens, if only we would surrender them to Him.