"In a culture that puts so much emphasis on social media, appearances, and keeping up with each other, how can we fight the temptation to be needy and dramatic? We all know a complicated woman. You know, she is unpredictable and inconsistent. Being in her life means you have to have a special knowledge of all her difficult ways. But even then, you can never be sure of how she will react. The only thing you can be sure of is that she will have a dramatic reaction. But what about the times when I am complicated? How does this affect those around me? How can we become pillars of strength for the people in our lives?"She goes on to say,
"I am complex, not complicated... A complex woman is like an oak tree. A complicated woman is like an orchid. Both are beautiful plants. An oak tree is a picture of strength and beauty. An orchid is a picture of fragility and beauty. An orchid must be coddled. It cannot be too hot or too cold. It cannot have too much water. Its leaves do not like to get wet. An orchid needs constant special attention."
We all have distractions that beg for our attention and make life more complicated than it needs to be. We all have stresses and worries that consume our thoughts and make life more complicated than it needs to be. We all have fears and insecurities that fill our mind and make life more complicated than it needs to be. But these are all unnecessary complications. Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church, Holly Furtick's husband, preached a message recently about "Unnecessary Complications." In this message he identified 5 unnecessary complications that plague our lives on a daily basis:
- Unnecessary Complication #1: Unrealistic Expectations
- Unrealistic expectations occur when we expect things from people that they are incapable of offering us, and when we expect things from God that He never promised to us. People are not perfect; they are guaranteed to fail us. And God never promised us an easy life; He simply promised to always be with us - through the good and bad times.
- Unnecessary Complication #2: Imaginary Scenarios
- We all have these imaginary scenarios that play in our minds at all times. In these scenarios we imagine the past as we feel it should have or could have been and we imagine the future as we hope it will be, but the problem with imaginary scenarios is that they always lead to disappointment. We can't change the past, and the future never turns out exactly the way we imagine it to be. God works in ways we can not understand, and His ways are far above what we could ever ask, think, or imagine.
- Unnecessary Complication #3: Approval Addiction
- In our society today, we are much too focused on and too worried about what other people think about us. We build these perfect lives online, only telling people the stories we want them to hear and only showing them the pictures we want them to see. We conceal the things that make our lives messy and embarrassing because we're afraid of what people will think. Our lives will always be unnecessarily complicated if we try to live based on the approval of other people. God's voice is the only voice that we should listen to. God's opinion is the only one that matters. God's approval is the only one we should seek - and He accepts us just as we are!
- Unnecessary Complication #4: Regret & Resentment
- According to Furtick, regret is what we have done that distracts us from what we are supposed to be doing, and resentment is what others have done to us that distracts us from what we are supposed to be doing. Either way, both are unnecessary complications that distract us from what we are supposed to be doing and end up leaving us feeling distraught and discouraged. We have to learn to let go of what is behind us so we can take hold of what is before us.
- Unnecessary Complication #5: Toxic Secrets
- In his message, Furtick says our sins will strangle and sabotage us when we allow them to become secrets. Sin only has power until we confess it. When we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive (1 John 1:9). Furtick worded it perfectly when he said, "The only sin the cross cannot overpower is the one you won't confess!" Don't let secret sins complicate your life and keep from living the life God has planned for you.
Put your trust in God - Do not worry - Do not fear. God reminds us time and time again throughout Scripture that He is with us, and He is for us. There is no need to fear. There is no need to worry. We can avoid the unnecessary complications of life by fixing our minds and focusing our hearts on the things above, where God is in control. God has given us promises all throughout scripture - promises to be with us and strengthen us in times of trouble, promises to guard our hearts with His peace, promises to give us rest when we are weary and heavy burdened, promises to provide our every need. We make our lives unnecessarily complicated when we don't take God for His promises.
"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
1 Peter 5:7
"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
"Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7
"Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don't worry about these things, saying, "What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?" These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
Matthew 6:25-34
As Holly Furtick pointed out in her example of the oak tree and the orchid, both are beautiful creations. In the same way, complicated women are just as beautiful and able to be used by God as complex women are. I look at scripture and I see many examples of both complex and complicated women whom God used in amazing ways. God can still use us despite our complications. We are all complex, and we have all been complicated, but there is no reason for us to stay complicated. The journey to where God is leading us could be so much easier if we would take hold of God's promises and rid ourselves of the unnecessary complications that clutter and confuse our lives. Like the orchid, our complications make us weak, fragile, and easily tossed about. Like the oak tree, our complexities make us strong, beautiful, and able to withstand the fiercest of storms.
We are complex beings.
God created us with intricate detail and complexity. He knows everything about. He knows our innermost parts and innermost thoughts. He knows when we sit and when we stand. He knows us better than we even know ourselves. There is nothing we can hide from God. Our complexities are not beyond the grasp of his love, and grace, and understanding.
The NASB translates Psalm 139:14 as "I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." In the original Hebrew language, this word "wonderfully" comes from the word "palah" which means "to be distinct, to be marked out, to be separated, to be distinguished."
Our complexities make us unique. They make us who we are, who God designed us to be. They allow to stand out from the crowd and to make a difference in the world. We were created for a purpose. Our complexities give our lives meaning, they allow God to use in ways that He can use no one else.
Like the oak tree, our complexities make us strong, but even an oak tree first begins as a seed. So how do we become strong? How do we grow and develop into a beautiful tree, strong enough to withstand the fierce rains and winds from the storms of life?
We must be deeply rooted.
Examples of Complicated Women in Scripture:
Examples of Complex Women in Scripture:
We are complex beings.
God created us with intricate detail and complexity. He knows everything about. He knows our innermost parts and innermost thoughts. He knows when we sit and when we stand. He knows us better than we even know ourselves. There is nothing we can hide from God. Our complexities are not beyond the grasp of his love, and grace, and understanding.
"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up, You know my thoughts even when I am far away. You see me when I travel, and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me, and You follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is to wonderful for me, too great for me to understand."
Psalm 139:1-6
"You made the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it."
Psalm 139:13-14
Our complexities make us unique. They make us who we are, who God designed us to be. They allow to stand out from the crowd and to make a difference in the world. We were created for a purpose. Our complexities give our lives meaning, they allow God to use in ways that He can use no one else.
Like the oak tree, our complexities make us strong, but even an oak tree first begins as a seed. So how do we become strong? How do we grow and develop into a beautiful tree, strong enough to withstand the fierce rains and winds from the storms of life?
We must be deeply rooted.
"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit."
Jeremiah 17:7-8
"They delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do."
Psalm 1:2-3
"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."
Colossians 2:6-7
When our roots grow deep, our faith is strengthened and our lives produce an abundance of spiritual fruits. Jeremiah tells us our roots must reach deep into the water. Paul's letter to the Colossians tells us our roots must grow down in Christ. John tells us Christ is the Living Water (John 7:37-39). Christ is our source of nourishment. The Holy Spirit of God quenches our thirst and provides us with the nutrients we need to live strengthened, empowered, and uncomplicated lives. The Holy Spirit produces within us fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). How do we let our roots grow deep? How do we produce spiritual fruits? We must meditate on God's Word day and night. We must take it to heart, and put it into action. We must learn from it, and live it out. We must learn to live as Christ lived - complex, yet not complicated. As we meditate on God's Word we will see examples of others throughout biblical history who have lived both complex and complicated lives. We can learn from their mistakes and failures, and we can grow and develop because of their successes and achievements. For the purposes of this study, I have identified 8 women in Scripture who provide us with examples of weakness, fragility, and complication and I have also identified 8 women in Scripture who provide us with examples of a strength, beauty, and complexity. All in all, each of these 16 women lived out beautiful stories that have left a lasting impact on the Kingdom of God. Thank you Lord for providing us with Spiritual Role Models in the pages of Scripture who can still influence our lives to this day by inspiring us and encouraging us to live more complex and deeply rooted lives!
Examples of Complicated Women in Scripture:
- Eve
- Eve was beautifully complex. She was the first created woman, the mother of the world. Created in the image of God, she was designed to be the helpmate of Adam. However, Eve was led astray by the beautiful and tempting appeal of sin. She listened to the compelling voice of Satan over and above the convicting voice of God, and she was deceived by his craftiness. Eve's disobedience made God's plan for creation much more complicated than He ever intended it to be. She allowed Satan to distract her from what God originally intended, and her actions caused an eternal division between God and mankind.
- Sarah
- Sarah was beautifully complex. The wife of Abraham, she became the matriarch of the nation of Israel and it is through her lineage that Jesus Christ entered this world. However, Sarah did not always take God for his promises, and after many years of being barren she decided to take matters into her own hands. Sarah gave her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham and Hagar bore Abraham a son. Hagar's son grew up to become the forefather of the Arab nation, a nation constantly at odds with the nation of Israel. Sarah's lack of faith made matters much more complicated than they needed to be, and her actions caused a new enemy to rise up against the children of Israel
- Leah & Rachel
- Leah and Rachel were both part of a beautifully complex love triangle in the story of God's redemption plan. Two sisters married to the same man, they began to battle for his love and attention. Rachel was the one whom Jacob loved, so Leah sought his affection by bearing him children. She bore him six sons and two more sons by her maidservant. Rachel became jealous of Leah's fertility, and she eventually bore Jacob two sons by her maidservant and two sons herself. Leah and Rachel made things complicated because they were so focused on winning the love of Jacob that they were distracted from the love of God. The result of their actions led to a family of sons that were so hostile and jealous of one another that they sought to kill their own brother.
- Tamar
- Tamar was beautifully complex. Her story is a painful one, because she was betrayed by her own family and denied what was rightfully hers. Tamar was not responsible for the complications in her life. Her husband died, leaving her childless. His brother was next in line to marry her and give her a son, but he refused to do so and ultimately died as well, once again leaving her childless. She spent many years alone, childless and widowed, patiently waiting for her husband's youngest brother to reach the age of maturity in which he could marry and give her a child. But the years came and went and Judah, her father-in-law, never gave her his youngest son as promised. It was then that Tamar took things into her own hands, in a very complicated way. She pretended to be a prostitute and tricked her own father-in-law into sleeping with her and getting her pregnant. Tamar further complicated an already complicated situation by allowing her hurt and anguish to fuel her decisions rather than being led by God's love and grace.
- Bathsheba
- Bathsheba was a beautifully complex woman. Although not necessarily complicated herself, Bathsheba got caught up in a complicated situation because of the actions of King David. Bathsheba was minding her own business, showering in privacy, only to be taken away from home and essentially raped. She became pregnant as a result, her husband was killed, and she even lost her baby. It was a terribly heartbreaking and complicated situation, and Bathsheba had no control at all. Sometimes we don't bring complications on ourselves, sometimes other people bring complication into our lives, but we must continue to trust God in these times and He will see us through.
- Gomer
- Gomer's story was a beautifully complex representation of God's love and faithfulness towards His children. Gomer was a prostitute whom God told Hosea to marry. After they married, Gomer continued in prostitution. She bore three children, and Hosea raised them as if they were his own, even though he was unable to know for sure if they were biologically his or not. At one point, Hosea even had to go and buy Gomer out of prostitution. This was a complicated situation. Gomer was a complicated woman with many sins and struggles. But God was able to use Gomer and Hosea's story, complicated as it may be, to symbolize the relationship we have with Christ. Even in our unfaithfulness and even in our complications, God remains faithful and continually rescues and redeems us.
- Martha
- Martha is a great example of how we can allow our complications to distract our focus and shift our attention away from God. Sometimes even good things can become unnecessary complications in our lives. In Luke 10:38-42, we see that Martha did a good thing by welcoming Jesus into her home. However, she was so distracted by all the work and details that went into preparing the meal that she neglected to sit and commune with Jesus and enjoy his presence. Sometimes we let the work we do for Christ become a complication that distract us from actually spending time with Christ. Don't be like Martha and allow your good service to make your life unnecessarily complicated, keep your focus and attention always on Christ first and foremost.
Examples of Complex Women in Scripture:
- Ruth
- Ruth was complex and deeply rooted. When her husband died, Ruth was given the option to return home where she would be supported by her family until she was able to remarry. Ruth chose instead to stay with her mother-in-law, Naomi, who was also widowed and alone. Ruth demonstrated strength, loyalty, and commitment through her actions. She chose not to return her homeland of Moab, an idolatrous nation that was formed by incestuous relationship and was constantly at odds with the children of Israel. Instead, she stood by Naomi's side decided to follow wherever the one true God would lead. Ruth dug her roots down deep into the God of Israel and stood firm. In Ruth 1:16-17 she tells Naomi, "For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, and you God, my God. Where you die, I will die; And there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me." Ruth was rewarded for her faithfulness - She eventually met and married Boaz, her kinsman redeemer, and gave birth to a son. Ruth was an unlikely heroine of the faith, a symbol of uncomplicated strength and beauty, and she is one of only five women to be named specifically in the lineage of our Savior.
- Abigail
- Abigail was a complex woman, filled with strength, wisdom, and courage. When her husband, Nabal, foolishly tricked and insulted King David, Abigail took action. She did not hide in fear, and she did not let her insecurities keep her from doing what needed to be done. She boldly approached the King of Israel, and humbly submitted to his authority. She pleaded her cause, sincerely apologizing for the mistakes of her husband and earnestly requesting that David spare the lives of those he intended to kill as a result of Nabal's actions. Abigail acted as God's messenger to David, and lives were spared as a result. David respected and admired Abigail for her words and actions, and when her husband later died she became David's wife.
- Esther
- Esther was yet another boldly unashamed, complex and deeply rooted heroine of the faith. Esther was the Queen of Persia and the niece of a Jewish official in the royal court. As the Queen of Persia during a time of intense anti-Jewish prejudice, Esther was forced to conceal her Jewish roots. However, her faith in the God of Israel remained strong. When a plan was concocted to eliminate God's chosen people, it was up to Esther to take action. At this time, anyone who approached the king without being sent could have been killed. Even as queen, Esther could have been killed for her actions. Naturally worried about the consequences of her actions, Esther's fears threatened to complicate the situation and keep her from carrying out God's plan. Her uncle and father-figure, Mordecai, assured her, "If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14). Esther responded by saying, "Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will do the same. And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. If I must die, I must die" (Esther 4:16). What faith and courage Esther demonstrated! She did not let her fears and insecurities become complications that distracted her from doing God's will.
- Proverbs 31 Woman
- If ever there was room for complication and distraction, it would be in the life of the Proverbs 31 woman. A hardworking business woman, a devoted wife, a caring mother, a leader in the community - she is a woman of many trades, a woman stretched in many different directions, a woman busy and consumed with many different chores and activities. This woman is complex, but she is not complicated. Many women nowadays are intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman because she is the ideal woman, a picture of unachievable perfection. However, Jesus was a picture of unachievable perfection as well and yet we still strive to be as much like him as possible. We should do the same with the Proverbs 31 woman, because there is a lot to be learned from the life she demonstrated. So how is it possible to live such a complex yet uncomplicated life? The answer is found in verses 25-27 and 30, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and she suffers nothing from laziness... Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." The Proverbs 31 woman remains complex yet uncomplicated because she is clothed with strength and dignity. She remains uncomplicated because she trusts in God and does not fear the future. She remains uncomplicated because she is careful and attentive to the world around her. She remains uncomplicated because she manages her time wisely and does not waste the time God has given her. She remains uncomplicated because she speaks with wisdom and acts with kindness. But first and foremost, she remains uncomplicated because she fears the Lord above all else.
- Mary, Mother of Jesus
- Mary demonstrated the strength of a complex and deeply rooted woman through her humble obedience and selfless surrender. Mary found favor with God, and she was chosen to be the mother of Jesus. It was through her womb that God, Himself, entered this world in human flesh. When the angel first approached Mary to give her this news, Scripture says she was "confused and disturbed" (Luke 1:29), but she did not complicate the situation. She never once doubted God. She expressed curiosity by asking how it would happen, considering she was a virgin, but she never once expressed doubt or fear. Rather, she humbly submitted to God's will by saying, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true" (Luke 1:38). There were countless questions and concerns that could have flooded Mary's mind in that moment, clouding her vision of God and keeping her from accepting His will for her life, but Mary tuned those voices out. She was not worried about what Joseph or anyone else would think. She was so focused on God, and so intent on following Him, that she accepted His will without hesitation.
- The Sinful Woman
- The sinful woman in Luke 7:36-50 is a perfect example of undistracted and uncomplicated focus and devotion to Jesus Christ. Most likely a prostitute, this woman was broken and dejected, condemned and rejected by the religious leaders in the room. But this woman paid them no mind, she ignored their haughtiness and judgment, and she tuned out their hateful comments. Her attention was focused completely and solely on one person - her Savior! She knelt at His feet and wept, pouring out expensive perfume and kissing His feet as she wiped her tears with her hair. This is a beautiful picture of complex and deeply rooted faith and devotion to the Savior. God is worthy of our time, attention, and worship. We are doing Him a disservice when we allow the cares and worries of this world to complicate our lives and distract our attention away from Him.
- The Bleeding Woman
- The bleeding woman in Luke 8:40-48 is yet another perfect example of uncomplicated and undistracted focus and devotion to Jesus. This woman had been dealing with an issue of blood for twelve years. This was a constant and consistent suffering for which there had been no cure, but she heard about Jesus and she knew that with one touch He could heal her. This illness had taken its toll on her body for twelve years, so I can't even imagine how weak and frail she must have been, but with every ounce of strength left in her body - she pressed her way through the crowd. She touched the hem of His garment, and immediately she was healed. It was her faith that had made the difference. This woman let nothing distract her from receiving the healing that she knew Christ could offer her. Despite her physical limitations and despite the pressing crowd that blocked her way, she was faithful and determined to reach Christ!
- Mary of Bethany
- Mary was the sister of Martha. While Martha rushed around, cleaning the house and preparing the meal for Jesus, Mary chose to sit at His feet and listen as He taught. Mary was aware of the task at hand, but she recognized what was the more important task. Her priorities were in order, and she was not going to let anything or anyone distract her from spending time Christ. Although Martha was doing a good thing by welcoming Jesus into her home and preparing a meal for Him, Mary took the time to actually rest in Him and enjoy His presence. That is all that God desires of us. The work we do for God is of no importance if we neglect to first spent time with Him. We become uncomplicated women by focusing our attention on Christ and digging our roots down deep in Him. This is where our strength comes from, and there is no doubt that Mary drew strength from Christ by listening to His teaching that day.
These 8 women exemplified the type of life that God desires us to live. They took hold of God's promises and trusted in Him. They dug their roots down deep and allowed Him to be their source of nourishment and provision. They stood firm and did not allow their faith to be swayed by the unnecessary complications of life. These women were oak trees - complex and deeply rooted. May we learn from them and live like them. May we take hold of God's promises. May we dig our roots down deep in Christ and grow in Him. May we produce an abundance of spiritual fruits. May we stand firm with the strength and beauty of an oak tree - not easily swayed by the fears, worries, insecurities, and distractions that threaten to complicate our lives. May we be complex and deeply rooted. Help us, Lord. Give us strength.
