Singleness ≠ Loneliness

          In our society, it is often easy to confuse singleness with loneliness. Our thought process is: “I am single, therefore I am alone” or “I am never going to get married, therefore I am going to be forever alone.” In Genesis 2:18, God says it is not good for man to be alone. Being 22 years old and never having been in a relationship, this was always my go-to verse to assure myself that it was not God’s will for me to be “forever alone” and I often used it as I prayed for God to send me a Christian husband.  However, I recently heard a message from Pastor Steven Furtick on this same verse, and his perspective completely changed my outlook on singleness and loneliness. He said this verse does not just apply to marriage, but to all relationships. This was a huge eye-opener for me because I finally realized that just because I am not dating anyone or on the path to marriage, it does not mean I am alone. It is easy to get discouraged when we feel like God is not listening or has not heard our prayers. However, we often forget that God does not always answer our prayers in the way we think He could or should. God gives us what He knows we need, not what we think we want. He never promised me a husband, but He did promise me I would never be alone.

          Loneliness is something I have struggled with my whole life, not only in regards to a relationship, but also in regards to friendship. It is estimated that only 1% of the population has my same personality type (INFJ), so I was often misunderstood growing up. My teachers and peers did not understand me, my family did not really understand me, and I didn't even really understand myself. I wanted friends, but I didn't know how to make friends. I often felt invisible to the outside world. My personality made it difficult for me to build relationships and allow people to get to know me, but at the same time I still longed to be known and to build close and intimate relationships. Suffering through the pain of loneliness was a dark and miserable time for me. I cried myself to sleep many nights, and I would always pray and beg God to send me at least one good friend who I could talk, and laugh, and simply share life with.

          I surrendered my life to Christ when I was 14 years old, and it was then that Christ became my best friend. I learned to be content in my relationship with Christ. I was still alone, but I no longer felt alone because God was always with me. I was alone, but I wasn't lonely. I was completely satisfied in my relationship with Christ. He was all I needed, and He was more than enough for me. However, there was still a part of my heart that longed for that human connection and friendship. Since I have graduated and moved back home, I have really begun to develop some great friendships. It is the first time in my life that I have really experienced what true friendship is like, and I don’t know how I made it this long without it. There is so much beauty in having someone to share and connect with, someone to laugh and cry with, and someone you can really just be yourself around. God created us to be in relationships with one another. He looked at Adam and saw that it was not good for him to be alone. He looked at me and He saw that it was not good for me to be alone. God heard my cries of loneliness, and He answered my prayers for friendship. It took many years of pain and loneliness, but I was finally able to break beyond the barrier of superficial acquaintanceship and experience the joys of deep and meaningful friendship. You can’t appreciate the light until you've been in the dark, and I can appreciate the friendships I have now because I know what it is like to be alone. Those years of solitude were difficult, but they were necessary in order to make me who I am today. I learned to trust God in those times of darkness, and I learned to lean on Him in those times of trouble and heartache. God became my best friend at a time when I felt the loneliest, and He filled a void in my heart that only He could fill. I had to reach a point where I was completely devoted to and dependent on Christ alone, because no other human relationship can fulfill us until we first enter into a relationship with Christ and find our ultimate fulfillment in Him.

          I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance God has planned for me. I have learned to stop looking and waiting for some so-called “perfect” man to show up in my life and sweep me off my feet. I have learned to start living in the present moment and enjoying my life as it is. I spent so many years feeling sorry for myself because I felt like I was the only one who didn't have a boyfriend, the only one who didn't have a date to the prom, the only one who didn't get engaged in college, and I finally began praying “God, if it is not your will for me to be in a relationship, then please just take away this desire that I have.” I prayed this prayer, first of all because I was tired of feeling miserable all the time, and second of all because I knew if I kept waiting and hoping for something that was not God’s will for me anyway, then it was just going to distract me from God – who should have been my sole desire to begin with. But to my surprise, I really did begin caring less and less about being in a relationship. I could actually start to imagine my life as a single person, and it didn't seem so bad. I started to realize that maybe God could use me in ways that He couldn't if I was married and had a family. But, when this realization started sinking in, I got scared. I got scared because that infamous “forever alone” phrase began creeping into my mind again. It wasn't long after this fear entered my mind that I heard the message from Steven Furtick and God showed me that, even if I never get married, I am never alone. Being single does not mean I am alone. I have a God who loves me and cares for me. He sees my pain, He hears my cries, and He answers my prayers. I have a loving family to be my strong foundation and solid support system, and I have a loving church family to guide me spiritually and lift me up in prayer. And now, because God heard my prayer, I have friends to keep me entertained on the good days and encouraged on the bad days. I am surrounded on all sides by a God, and by people of God, who love me and care for me unconditionally. I am truly blessed beyond measure. Being single does not mean I will be "forever alone" - because I understand now more than ever that as long as I have God, I am never really alone at all.

What is Loneliness?

According to Dictionary.com, loneliness is defined as:

•  Affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone
•  Destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship or support
•  Lone, Solitary, Without Company
• Remote from places of human habitation, desolate, unfrequented, bleak
• Standing apart, isolated

          Loneliness is much more complex than simply being alone. It is a mindset. It is a feeling of being alone, even if you aren't really alone. Many people who struggle with feelings of loneliness are often surrounded by people on a daily basis. Feelings of loneliness occur, not only from being physically isolated from people, but also from being emotionally disconnected from people. If you struggle with loneliness, do not lose hope. I ran across a quote recently that said, “I like to think loneliness is just the echo of missing someone you haven’t the good fortune of meeting quite yet.” I like to look back and think about the loneliness I once felt from that perspective - missing the friends I didn't have yet. The key word is yet. We have to learn to look beyond our present circumstances. If I had let my loneliness consume me and completely given up hope of ever finding a good friend, then I would never have experienced the friendships I have now. God provides rainbows in the sky as a sign of His promise, but you can’t see the rainbow until you've endured the rain. We only learn to appreciate beauty when we've seen the ugly, we only recognize the good when we've been through the bad, and we can’t understand the joy of healing if we haven’t first been hurt. There is a beauty to our pain and suffering, because without enduring hardship we would never experience the gifts of grace, mercy, healing, and deliverance. There was a time when I thought I was going to always be alone, a time when I thought that overwhelming feeling of loneliness would never leave, but now I look back and I’m amazed by how far God has brought me. It is truly beautiful to look back and compare where I was then to where I am now. It is beautiful to see how God has been at work in my life, and I stand in awe at the wonder of it all. His faithfulness amazes me.

          Rest assured that it is not God’s will for you to be alone. Even in the times when we feel all alone, we are never really alone, because God is always with us. Scripture assures us that in Christ we have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Even the best of friends let us down, and even the closest of family will hurt and disappoint us, but in Christ we have a faithful friend who will never leave or forsake us. As the body of Christ, we are all connected to one another with an unshakable bond. There are so many different connecting links and relationships that have shaped me into the person I am today. With God, and with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I know that I am never alone. Despite how much the world tries to convince me otherwise, I know that I do not need a husband to complete me, to define me, or to give my life meaning and purpose. Christ completes me. Christ defines me. My life has meaning and purpose because Christ lives within me. I am becoming more and more assured of this, and I am becoming more and more content with where God has me at this point in my life. God has given me the people I need in my life. He knows what I need better than I do. He is working all things together for my good, and He will do the same for you if you put your trust in Him!

What Does Scripture Say about Loneliness?

          God’s Word is full of promises that ensure you will never be alone. When I was looking up scripture about loneliness, I noticed two distinct words that stood out. The first is the Hebrew word "yâchı̂yd" which translates as “lonely” and means to be the only one, to be unique, to be solitary. This is the word used in Psalm 25:16 when the psalmist writes, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” Next was the Hebrew word “bad” which translates as “alone” and means to be separate, to be by oneself, to be apart. This is the word used in Genesis 2:18 when God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.” These two words reveal two different types of loneliness. The first is a loneliness in which “there is no one like me” and the second is a loneliness in which “there is no one with me.” In both instances, loneliness is not a good thing. The Psalmist said loneliness is like an affliction; it is the cause of great pain and suffering. God said it is not good for us to be alone; we need suitable helpers by our side.

          The word "helper" found in Genesis 2:18 is derived from the word "‛êzer" which means "to help or succor, especially in times of difficulty." This is the same word used in Psalm 33:20 when the psalmist writes, "We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield." God is our ultimate helper, especially in times of trouble, and we can put our hope and trust in Him. It is because of God’s grace that we can have that blessed assurance that we will never be alone. God’s Holy Spirit dwells among us as a comforter, a constant companion, and a friend that will never leave or forsake us.

          Friendship is important to God. He knows it is not good for us to be alone. He knows we need suitable helpers, and He desires us have strong Godly friendships. In fact, in John 15, Jesus calls us His friends - and He commands us to love one another the way that He has loved us.

    

          Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart” (NASB).

          Strong, Godly friendships allow us to work together and bear one another’s burdens. It is in these relationships with one another that we can best reflect the friendship that Christ has so graciously demonstrated to us.

***

Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer and reaching down and pulling me out of my pit of loneliness and despair. Thank you for coming to my rescue in my time of greatest need. Thank you for becoming the closest and most faithful friend I could ever ask for. Thank you for putting suitable helpers in my life to walk with me through this journey and help draw me closer to you. Thank you for never leaving me or forsaking me. With you I am never alone. Thank you for changing my outlook on life from “forever alone” to “forever in awe” of who you are and all that you have done. I can’t thank you enough for how good and faithful you have been to me. Let my life be a reflection of the outpouring of love you have so graciously shown to me, and may I be the type of friend that you have been to me. May I never take for granted your friendship, and may I never confuse my singleness with loneliness again. Thank you for the opportunity to focus my eyes and tune my heart to you. I love you, Lord.

Complex & Deeply Rooted

This devotion was originally inspired by a blog I read from Holly Furtick about "Becoming an Uncomplicated Woman." In her blog, Holly writes,

"In a culture that puts so much emphasis on social media, appearances, and keeping up with each other, how can we fight the temptation to be needy and dramatic? We all know a complicated woman. You know, she is unpredictable and inconsistent. Being in her life means you have to have a special knowledge of all her difficult ways. But even then, you can never be sure of how she will react. The only thing you can be sure of is that she will have a dramatic reaction. But what about the times when I am complicated? How does this affect those around me? How can we become pillars of strength for the people in our lives?"

She goes on to say,

"I am complex, not complicated... A complex woman is like an oak tree. A complicated woman is like an orchid. Both are beautiful plants. An oak tree is a picture of strength and beauty. An orchid is a picture of fragility and beauty. An orchid must be coddled. It cannot be too hot or too cold. It cannot have too much water. Its leaves do not like to get wet. An orchid needs constant special attention."

We all have distractions that beg for our attention and make life more complicated than it needs to be. We all have stresses and worries that consume our thoughts and make life more complicated than it needs to be. We all have fears and insecurities that fill our mind and make life more complicated than it needs to be. But these are all unnecessary complications. Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church, Holly Furtick's husband, preached a message recently about "Unnecessary Complications." In this message he identified 5 unnecessary complications that plague our lives on a daily basis:

• Unnecessary Complication #1: Unrealistic Expectations
• Unrealistic expectations occur when we expect things from people that they are incapable of offering us, and when we expect things from God that He never promised to us. People are not perfect; they are guaranteed to fail us. And God never promised us an easy life; He simply promised to always be with us - through the good and bad times. 

• Unnecessary Complication #2: Imaginary Scenarios
• We all have these imaginary scenarios that play in our minds at all times. In these scenarios we imagine the past as we feel it should have or could have been and we imagine the future as we hope it will be, but the problem with imaginary scenarios is that they always lead to disappointment. We can't change the past, and the future never turns out exactly the way we imagine it to be. God works in ways we can not understand, and His ways are far above what we could ever ask, think, or imagine.

• Unnecessary Complication #3: Approval Addiction
• In our society today, we are much too focused on and too worried about what other people think about us. We build these perfect lives online, only telling people the stories we want them to hear and only showing them the pictures we want them to see. We conceal the things that make our lives messy and embarrassing because we're afraid of what people will think. Our lives will always be unnecessarily complicated if we try to live based on the approval of other people. God's voice is the only voice that we should listen to. God's opinion is the only one that matters. God's approval is the only one we should seek - and He accepts us just as we are!

• Unnecessary Complication #4: Regret & Resentment
• According to Furtick, regret is what we have done that distracts us from what we are supposed to be doing, and resentment is what others have done to us that distracts us from what we are supposed to be doing. Either way, both are unnecessary complications that distract us from what we are supposed to be doing and end up leaving us feeling distraught and discouraged. We have to learn to let go of what is behind us so we can take hold of what is before us.

• Unnecessary Complication #5: Toxic Secrets
• In his message, Furtick says our sins will strangle and sabotage us when we allow them to become secrets. Sin only has power until we confess it. When we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive (1 John 1:9). Furtick worded it perfectly when he said, "The only sin the cross cannot overpower is the one you won't confess!" Don't let secret sins complicate your life and keep from living the life God has planned for you.

Avoid the unnecessary complications. Become an uncomplicated woman. Live an uncomplicated life.

Put your trust in God - Do not worry - Do not fear. God reminds us time and time again throughout Scripture that He is with us, and He is for us. There is no need to fear. There is no need to worry. We can avoid the unnecessary complications of life by fixing our minds and focusing our hearts on the things above, where God is in control. God has given us promises all throughout scripture - promises to be with us and strengthen us in times of trouble, promises to guard our hearts with His peace, promises to give us rest when we are weary and heavy burdened, promises to provide our every need. We make our lives unnecessarily complicated when we don't take God for His promises.

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 

1 Peter 5:7 

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."  

Isaiah 41:10

"Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."  

Philippians 4:6-7

"Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."  

Matthew 11:28-30

"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don't worry about these things, saying, "What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?" These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."

Matthew 6:25-34

As Holly Furtick pointed out in her example of the oak tree and the orchid, both are beautiful creations. In the same way, complicated women are just as beautiful and able to be used by God as complex women are. I look at scripture and I see many examples of both complex and complicated women whom God used in amazing ways. God can still use us despite our complications. We are all complex, and we have all been complicated, but there is no reason for us to stay complicated. The journey to where God is leading us could be so much easier if we would take hold of God's promises and rid ourselves of the unnecessary complications that clutter and confuse our lives. Like the orchid, our complications make us weak, fragile, and easily tossed about. Like the oak tree, our complexities make us strong, beautiful, and able to withstand the fiercest of storms.

We are complex beings.

God created us with intricate detail and complexity. He knows everything about. He knows our innermost parts and innermost thoughts. He knows when we sit and when we stand. He knows us better than we even know ourselves. There is nothing we can hide from God. Our complexities are not beyond the grasp of his love, and grace, and understanding.

"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up, You know my thoughts even when I am far away. You see me when I travel, and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me, and You follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is to wonderful for me, too great for me to understand." 

Psalm 139:1-6

"You made the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it." 

Psalm 139:13-14

The NASB translates Psalm 139:14 as "I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." In the original Hebrew language, this word "wonderfully" comes from the word "palah" which means "to be distinct, to be marked out, to be separated, to be distinguished."

Our complexities make us unique. They make us who we are, who God designed us to be. They allow to stand out from the crowd and to make a difference in the world. We were created for a purpose. Our complexities give our lives meaning, they allow God to use in ways that He can use no one else.

Like the oak tree, our complexities make us strong, but even an oak tree first begins as a seed. So how do we become strong? How do we grow and develop into a beautiful tree, strong enough to withstand the fierce rains and winds from the storms of life?

We must be deeply rooted.

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit."  

Jeremiah 17:7-8 

"They delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do." 

Psalm 1:2-3  

"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." 

Colossians 2:6-7

When our roots grow deep, our faith is strengthened and our lives produce an abundance of spiritual fruits. Jeremiah tells us our roots must reach deep into the water. Paul's letter to the Colossians tells us our roots must grow down in Christ. John tells us Christ is the Living Water (John 7:37-39). Christ is our source of nourishment. The Holy Spirit of God quenches our thirst and provides us with the nutrients we need to live strengthened, empowered, and uncomplicated lives. The Holy Spirit produces within us fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). How do we let our roots grow deep? How do we produce spiritual fruits? We must meditate on God's Word day and night. We must take it to heart, and put it into action. We must learn from it, and live it out. We must learn to live as Christ lived - complex, yet not complicated. As we meditate on God's Word we will see examples of others throughout biblical history who have lived both complex and complicated lives. We can learn from their mistakes and failures, and we can grow and develop because of their successes and achievements. For the purposes of this study, I have identified 8 women in Scripture who provide us with examples of weakness, fragility, and complication and I have also identified 8 women in Scripture who provide us with examples of a strength, beauty, and complexity. All in all, each of these 16 women lived out beautiful stories that have left a lasting impact on the Kingdom of God. Thank you Lord for providing us with Spiritual Role Models in the pages of Scripture who can still influence our lives to this day by inspiring us and encouraging us to live more complex and deeply rooted lives!

Examples of Complicated Women in Scripture:

• Eve
• Eve was beautifully complex. She was the first created woman, the mother of the world. Created in the image of God, she was designed to be the helpmate of Adam. However, Eve was led astray by the beautiful and tempting appeal of sin. She listened to the compelling voice of Satan over and above the convicting voice of God, and she was deceived by his craftiness. Eve's disobedience made God's plan for creation much more complicated than He ever intended it to be. She allowed Satan to distract her from what God originally intended, and her actions caused an eternal division between God and mankind. 
• Sarah
• Sarah was beautifully complex. The wife of Abraham, she became the matriarch of the nation of Israel and it is through her lineage that Jesus Christ entered this world. However, Sarah did not always take God for his promises, and after many years of being barren she decided to take matters into her own hands. Sarah gave her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham and Hagar bore Abraham a son. Hagar's son grew up to become the forefather of the Arab nation, a nation constantly at odds with the nation of Israel. Sarah's lack of faith made matters much more complicated than they needed to be, and her actions caused a new enemy to rise up against the children of Israel
• Leah & Rachel
• Leah and Rachel were both part of a beautifully complex love triangle in the story of God's redemption plan. Two sisters married to the same man, they began to battle for his love and attention. Rachel was the one whom Jacob loved, so Leah sought his affection by bearing him children. She bore him six sons and two more sons by her maidservant. Rachel became jealous of Leah's fertility, and she eventually bore Jacob two sons by her maidservant and two sons herself. Leah and Rachel made things complicated because they were so focused on winning the love of Jacob that they were distracted from the love of God. The result of their actions led to a family of sons that were so hostile and jealous of one another that they sought to kill their own brother.
• Tamar
• Tamar was beautifully complex. Her story is a painful one, because she was betrayed by her own family and denied what was rightfully hers. Tamar was not responsible for the complications in her life. Her husband died, leaving her childless. His brother was next in line to marry her and give her a son, but he refused to do so and ultimately died as well, once again leaving her childless. She spent many years alone, childless and widowed, patiently waiting for her husband's youngest brother to reach the age of maturity in which he could marry and give her a child. But the years came and went and Judah, her father-in-law, never gave her his youngest son as promised. It was then that Tamar took things into her own hands, in a very complicated way. She pretended to be a prostitute and tricked her own father-in-law into sleeping with her and getting her pregnant. Tamar further complicated an already complicated situation by allowing her hurt and anguish to fuel her decisions rather than being led by God's love and grace.
• Bathsheba
• Bathsheba was a beautifully complex woman. Although not necessarily complicated herself, Bathsheba got caught up in a complicated situation because of the actions of King David. Bathsheba was minding her own business, showering in privacy, only to be taken away from home and essentially raped. She became pregnant as a result, her husband was killed, and she even lost her baby. It was a terribly heartbreaking and complicated situation, and Bathsheba had no control at all. Sometimes we don't bring complications on ourselves, sometimes other people bring complication into our lives, but we must continue to trust God in these times and He will see us through.
• Gomer
• Gomer's story was a beautifully complex representation of God's love and faithfulness towards His children. Gomer was a prostitute whom God told Hosea to marry. After they married, Gomer continued in prostitution. She bore three children, and Hosea raised them as if they were his own, even though he was unable to know for sure if they were biologically his or not. At one point, Hosea even had to go and buy Gomer out of prostitution. This was a complicated situation. Gomer was a complicated woman with many sins and struggles. But God was able to use Gomer and Hosea's story, complicated as it may be, to symbolize the relationship we have with Christ. Even in our unfaithfulness and even in our complications, God remains faithful and continually rescues and redeems us. 
• Martha
• Martha is a great example of how we can allow our complications to distract our focus and shift our attention away from God. Sometimes even good things can become unnecessary complications in our lives. In Luke 10:38-42, we see that Martha did a good thing by welcoming Jesus into her home. However, she was so distracted by all the work and details that went into preparing the meal that she neglected to sit and commune with Jesus and enjoy his presence. Sometimes we let the work we do for Christ become a complication that distract us from actually spending time with Christ. Don't be like Martha and allow your good service to make your life unnecessarily complicated, keep your focus and attention always on Christ first and foremost.

Despite the many troubling consequences that often accompany a complicated life, there can still be beauty in the complications. An orchid, though weak and fragile, is still a beautiful creation. When we are complicated, when we make mistakes, when our decisions complicate matters more than they need to be - God is still at work! Our complications make things harder for us, but nothing is too hard for God. There is no pit too deep, no valley too wide that God cannot still reach down, rescue, and redeem. He is faithful. Romans 8:28 assures us that God works all things, good and bad, together for the good of those who have been called according to His plan and purpose. Just look at the stories of these 8 women who found themselves in complicated situations. Much like us, these women were filled with worries, fears, and insecurities. They got distracted at times, they got hurt, they allowed themselves to be deceived by the lies of Satan, they lost sight of God's plan for them, and they lost their faith at times - but God still used them! Each and every one of these women are a part of the story of God, forever inscribed in His Word and forever inscribed in the hearts of His children. Many of these women are even named in the lineage of Christ Himself. What a testimony of God's faithfulness! Our complications do not sway God - they don't alter His view of us, they cannot thwart His plan for us, and they do not make Him love us any less.

Examples of Complex Women in Scripture:

• Ruth
• Ruth was complex and deeply rooted. When her husband died, Ruth was given the option to return home where she would be supported by her family until she was able to remarry. Ruth chose instead to stay with her mother-in-law, Naomi, who was also widowed and alone. Ruth demonstrated strength, loyalty, and commitment through her actions. She chose not to return her homeland of Moab, an idolatrous nation that was formed by incestuous relationship and was constantly at odds with the children of Israel. Instead, she stood by Naomi's side decided to follow wherever the one true God would lead. Ruth dug her roots down deep into the God of Israel and stood firm. In Ruth 1:16-17 she tells Naomi, "For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, and you God, my God. Where you die, I will die; And there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me." Ruth was rewarded for her faithfulness - She eventually met and married Boaz, her kinsman redeemer, and gave birth to a son. Ruth was an unlikely heroine of the faith, a symbol of uncomplicated strength and beauty, and she is one of only five women to be named specifically in the lineage of our Savior.
• Abigail
• Abigail was a complex woman, filled with strength, wisdom, and courage. When her husband, Nabal, foolishly tricked and insulted King David, Abigail took action. She did not hide in fear, and she did not let her insecurities keep her from doing what needed to be done. She boldly approached the King of Israel, and humbly submitted to his authority. She pleaded her cause, sincerely apologizing for the mistakes of her husband and earnestly requesting that David spare the lives of those he intended to kill as a result of Nabal's actions. Abigail acted as God's messenger to David, and lives were spared as a result. David respected and admired Abigail for her words and actions, and when her husband later died she became David's wife.
• Esther
• Esther was yet another boldly unashamed, complex and deeply rooted heroine of the faith. Esther was the Queen of Persia and the niece of a Jewish official in the royal court. As the Queen of Persia during a time of intense anti-Jewish prejudice, Esther was forced to conceal her Jewish roots. However, her faith in the God of Israel remained strong. When a plan was concocted to eliminate God's chosen people, it was up to Esther to take action. At this time, anyone who approached the king without being sent could have been killed. Even as queen, Esther could have been killed for her actions. Naturally worried about the consequences of her actions, Esther's fears threatened to complicate the situation and keep her from carrying out God's plan. Her uncle and father-figure, Mordecai, assured her, "If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14). Esther responded by saying, "Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will do the same. And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. If I must die, I must die" (Esther 4:16). What faith and courage Esther demonstrated! She did not let her fears and insecurities become complications that distracted her from doing God's will. 
• Proverbs 31 Woman
• If ever there was room for complication and distraction, it would be in the life of the Proverbs 31 woman. A hardworking business woman, a devoted wife, a caring mother, a leader in the community - she is a woman of many trades, a woman stretched in many different directions, a woman busy and consumed with many different chores and activities. This woman is complex, but she is not complicated. Many women nowadays are intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman because she is the ideal woman, a picture of unachievable perfection. However, Jesus was a picture of unachievable perfection as well and yet we still strive to be as much like him as possible. We should do the same with the Proverbs 31 woman, because there is a lot to be learned from the life she demonstrated. So how is it possible to live such a complex yet uncomplicated life? The answer is found in verses 25-27 and 30, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and she suffers nothing from laziness... Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." The Proverbs 31 woman remains complex yet uncomplicated because she is clothed with strength and dignity. She remains uncomplicated because she trusts in God and does not fear the future. She remains uncomplicated because she is careful and attentive to the world around her. She remains uncomplicated because she manages her time wisely and does not waste the time God has given her. She remains uncomplicated because she speaks with wisdom and acts with kindness. But first and foremost, she remains uncomplicated because she fears the Lord above all else.
• Mary, Mother of Jesus
• Mary demonstrated the strength of a complex and deeply rooted woman through her humble obedience and selfless surrender. Mary found favor with God, and she was chosen to be the mother of Jesus. It was through her womb that God, Himself, entered this world in human flesh. When the angel first approached Mary to give her this news, Scripture says she was "confused and disturbed" (Luke 1:29), but she did not complicate the situation. She never once doubted God. She expressed curiosity by asking how it would happen, considering she was a virgin, but she never once expressed doubt or fear. Rather, she humbly submitted to God's will by saying, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true" (Luke 1:38). There were countless questions and concerns that could have flooded Mary's mind in that moment, clouding her vision of God and keeping her from accepting His will for her life, but Mary tuned those voices out. She was not worried about what Joseph or anyone else would think. She was so focused on God, and so intent on following Him, that she accepted His will without hesitation.
• The Sinful Woman
• The sinful woman in Luke 7:36-50 is a perfect example of undistracted and uncomplicated focus and devotion to Jesus Christ. Most likely a prostitute, this woman was broken and dejected, condemned and rejected by the religious leaders in the room. But this woman paid them no mind, she ignored their haughtiness and judgment, and she tuned out their hateful comments. Her attention was focused completely and solely on one person - her Savior! She knelt at His feet and wept, pouring out expensive perfume and kissing His feet as she wiped her tears with her hair. This is a beautiful picture of complex and deeply rooted faith and devotion to the Savior. God is worthy of our time, attention, and worship. We are doing Him a disservice when we allow the cares and worries of this world to complicate our lives and distract our attention away from Him.
• The Bleeding Woman
• The bleeding woman in Luke 8:40-48 is yet another perfect example of uncomplicated and undistracted focus and devotion to Jesus. This woman had been dealing with an issue of blood for twelve years. This was a constant and consistent suffering for which there had been no cure, but she heard about Jesus and she knew that with one touch He could heal her. This illness had taken its toll on her body for twelve years, so I can't even imagine how weak and frail she must have been, but with every ounce of strength left in her body - she pressed her way through the crowd. She touched the hem of His garment, and immediately she was healed. It was her faith that had made the difference. This woman let nothing distract her from receiving the healing that she knew Christ could offer her. Despite her physical limitations and despite the pressing crowd that blocked her way, she was faithful and determined to reach Christ!
• Mary of Bethany
• Mary was the sister of Martha. While Martha rushed around, cleaning the house and preparing the meal for Jesus, Mary chose to sit at His feet and listen as He taught. Mary was aware of the task at hand, but she recognized what was the more important task. Her priorities were in order, and she was not going to let anything or anyone distract her from spending time Christ. Although Martha was doing a good thing by welcoming Jesus into her home and preparing a meal for Him, Mary took the time to actually rest in Him and enjoy His presence. That is all that God desires of us. The work we do for God is of no importance if we neglect to first spent time with Him. We become uncomplicated women by focusing our attention on Christ and digging our roots down deep in Him. This is where our strength comes from, and there is no doubt that Mary drew strength from Christ by listening to His teaching that day.

These 8 women exemplified the type of life that God desires us to live. They took hold of God's promises and trusted in Him. They dug their roots down deep and allowed Him to be their source of nourishment and provision. They stood firm and did not allow their faith to be swayed by the unnecessary complications of life. These women were oak trees - complex and deeply rooted. May we learn from them and live like them. May we take hold of God's promises. May we dig our roots down deep in Christ and grow in Him. May we produce an abundance of spiritual fruits. May we stand firm with the strength and beauty of an oak tree - not easily swayed by the fears, worries, insecurities, and distractions that threaten to complicate our lives. May we be complex and deeply rooted. Help us, Lord. Give us strength.

In the Wilderness

   

     The wilderness is often associated with a dry and desolate place. It is defined as "an unsettled and uncultivated region, an extensive area that is barren or empty, a waste." That is why I found it interesting that Jesus was "led by the Spirit" into the wilderness in Matthew chapter 4. So many times when we find ourselves in those dry and desolate spots in our spiritual journey, our first instinct is often to blame ourselves or to blame Satan. We blame ourselves because we believe we must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, made a bad decision, and got off the path from where God intended us to be. We never take the time to consider that maybe the wilderness is exactly where God wants us to be. We blame Satan for leading us into the wilderness because we feel so vulnerable, weak, and alone. It is the perfect time for Satan to attack, but we never consider that God sometimes allows us to be tempted by Satan in order to test and strengthen our faith. I heard a message by Pastor Steven Furtick the other day in which he said, "Nothing gets stronger without resistance." That is so true! We need these times of pressure and resistance, these times of testing, in order to strengthen our spiritual muscles. The Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness to fast and pray. The wilderness is an ideal place for spiritual growth because we are completely alone, with no distractions. We are completely dependent on God alone. God used this time to prepare Jesus for what He knew was coming. When we find ourselves in the wilderness, it is often difficult to see beyond our hunger, thirst, and loneliness to see what God is preparing us for.
     Jesus was prepared to face Satan because He was prayed up, He was completely dependent on the Spirit of God, and He was armed with the Word of God. Jesus endured three different temptations from Satan, and He fought off each one with the Word of God. In Ephesians chapter 6 we are told that the only offensive weapon we have against Satan is the Word of God. We need to prepare ourselves to face the enemy. We need to clothe ourselves with the armor of God, and we need to take up that Sword of the Spirit. We need to thank God for the times we find ourselves in the wilderness, because we know that God must be preparing us to face a great battle.
     I found it interesting that while the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness, Satan led Him into the Holy City. Neither God nor Satan work in the ways we often expect. God can use us, teach us, and grow in the wilderness just as Satan can tempt, mock, and try to destroy us in the Holiest of places. Satan even used Scripture to try and get Jesus to give in to temptation. In verse 6 he said, "if you are the Son of God, jump off! For the Scriptures say, 'He will order his angels to protect you. And they will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone.'" What makes this so interesting is that this promise was ultimately fulfilled, although not in the way Satan was expecting. In verse 11, after Jesus had endured all three temptations, the Bible says, "Then the devil went away, and the angels came and took care of Jesus." He endured the temptation. He did not give in. He did not test God's promises, and yet God fulfilled them. We can rest assured that God will not leave us stranded in the wilderness. He will come to our rescue time and time again. When we lose strength. When we lose heart. We we are weak and tired. When we are lonely and afraid. When we are broken and discouraged. God will send His angels to comfort us. The Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ, God Himself, will wrap His arms around us. Jesus has been where you are at. He has been in the wilderness. He has faced the fiery darts of Satan. He has been tested. He has endured the trials and temptations. He knows exactly how you feel, and He will come to your rescue when the test is finished. Endure to the end, and you will experience the unlimited promises of God.

Like Christ

     When my face comes to your mind, what do you think of? When I tell you I'm a Christian, what impression does that give you of Jesus Christ? The term "Christian" is first used in the Bible in Acts 11:26. It says, "...And it came to pass a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch." This word "Christian" comes from the Greek word "Χριστιανός" which means "a follower of Christ." As a Christian, as a follower of Christ, it is my desire to live a life that reflects the life of Christ. When people hear my name or see my face, it is my desire that they would be reminded of the love and grace, mercy and compassion, kindness and humility of Jesus Christ. There are some people in this world who proclaim to be Christians, yet when I hear their name or see their face I immediately think of anger and bitterness, hatefulness and judgement, haughtiness and condemnation. This absolutely breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I know that these people carry the name of my Savior. It breaks my heart because I don't know how many people have been hurt, or turned away from Christ, because of things these people may have said or done - claiming it to be in the name of Jesus. The Bible says that people will be known by the fruits they produce. As Christians, we should be known for producing the fruits of the Spirit which include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). However, it seems nowadays that if you asked a lost person on the street what characteristics described a Christian then these would be some of the last words on their mind. Why is that? I think it is because "Christians" nowadays spend more time fighting against lost people than they spend welcoming them in and showing them the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. I think it is because "Christians" nowadays spend more time fighting against one another rather than working together to help build the Kingdom of God. I find myself not wanting to be associated with these so-called "Christians" because they have no resemblance of the Christ found in Scripture.

"We are altogether ignorant of our own name and do not know why we are Christians or bear the name of Christians. Surely we are named after Christ, not because He is absent from us, but because He dwells in us, because we believe in Him and are Christs one to another and do to our neighbors as Christ does to us." 

- Martin Luther

     I have been reading through the New Testament lately, and I have found that the Christ represented in Scripture does not align much with the Christ represented in many of our churches today. I discovered that the Jesus found in Scripture reflects the image of a God who is full of love and mercy rather than judgement and condemnation. Jesus did not stir up controversy by excluding and condemning people. He stirred up controversy because He included and befriended people when no one else would. He came to redeem the world, not to rebuke it. Jesus spoke in a still small voice, and gently commanded storms to stop. He was not harsh and demanding. He went away to the mountaintop to pray, and He spoke out against those who prayed publicly on street corners. People should not have to know that we are Christians by the lengthy prayers we post on Facebook or the artsy-looking Bible verses we post on Instagram. People should know we are Christians by the way we treat people on a daily basis. Christians should not be known as people who stand on street corners with signs protesting against what we consider to be sinful, or boycotting people and places simply because they support or don't support something we do or don't believe in. Christians should be known as people who humble themselves like Jesus did and reach out to the hurting like Jesus did. Jesus Christ was, and is, a source of hope and encouragement to the despised and rejected. He never turned away those in need of help, but always had compassion on the sick and hurting. He has not changed over the years. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He may not physically walk among us, but He is still very much alive, and His Spirit lives within us. As His followers, we should extend His same love and grace, mercy and compassion, kindness and humility to the people we come in contact with every day. If we call ourselves Christians, then why should we treat people any differently than Jesus did when He lived and walked among us?

"In the light of Jesus' life we come to realize that our problem is not that we are "only human" but that we are not human enough. Blaming our shortcomings on our humanity, therefore, makes a mockery not only of the life of Jesus but also of the lives of those saints throughout the ages who have sought to be human in the ways that He was human." 

- Phillip D. Kenneson 

     So many people in the world today have been hurt by people claiming to be followers of Christ. Many people refuse to even enter the doors of a church because of the judgement and hypocrisy they know awaits them within the doors. Churches today tend to spread messages of hate, taking stands against certain sins while ignoring the sins that plague their own lives. People who proclaim to be followers of Christ have begun tossing stones at sinners, like the Pharisees whom Jesus strongly opposed did, rather than drawing in the sand so the accusers turn away - like Jesus did. I don't know about you, but I want to be like the Jesus I find in Scripture. I don't want to be associated with this altered and reconfigured image of Jesus that is found in many of the churches around the world today. I don't want to be like this Jesus that has been shaped and molded to fit the views and opinions of others. I want my life to reflect the love and grace, mercy and compassion of Jesus Christ. I want to shine the light of Christ through the way I live my life, so that others might be drawn to Him by the things I say and do. I want to reach out to the hurting. I want to have compassion on the crushed in spirit. I want to befriend those the world has pushed away. I want to welcome in the sinners like me, and the sinners unlike me. I want to worship with them, and learn from them, and grow alongside them. I want to serve those the world considers unworthy, and I want to make time for those the world considers beyond repair. I want be an extension of Christ's love and grace to this broken and hurting world. I want to be a Christian in the fullest sense of the word: I want to be like Christ. 

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     I would like to close this blog by taking the time to apologize to anyone and everyone who has ever been hurt or pushed away by someone claiming to be a follower of Christ. If I personally, or anyone else in the body of Christ, has ever judged or condemned you or ever shown you anything less than the love and grace of Jesus Christ - then I ask for your forgiveness. That is not the image of Christ that I want you to have in your mind. Please know that Christ loves and accepts you, and desires a personal relationship with you. He is full of grace and mercy, and He is ready to welcome you in with open arms.